We continue with our series on the Fruit of the Holy Spirit, and this week’s focus fruit is kindness.
Once upon a time there was a faithful king, who had been pursued obsessively by the previous monarch for years, but that previous monarch later died. It seemed that the king could breathe easy. The king’s throne was also legally protected against an uprising by the descendants of a previous dynasty, with the stipulation that the previous monarch’s descendants had to be eliminated. This rule sought to prevent the possibility of an uprising—of the descendants of the previous monarch taking the throne by force.
Yet the faithful king took a very different approach. Rather than signalling immediate harm and threat to the family, he first asked, “Is there anyone remaining from their family that I can show kindness to?” (2 Samuel 9:1).
There was a surviving member of the previous king’s family. He was crippled, vulnerable, and living in obscurity and poverty. Having been located, he hobbled into the throne room of the most powerful king and expected the worst according to the tradition of the kingdom. But instead, the faithful king said: “Don’t be afraid, since I intend to show you kindness because of a vow I made with your father. I will restore to you all your grandfather’s fields, and you will always eat meals at my table.”
This faithful king who expressed one of the most beautiful acts of kindness to an outcast is the story of King David’s kindness in 2 Samuel 9. Saul had become obsessed and had pursued David’s life. But David had made a promise to Jonathan, Saul’s son, that he would show kindness to the remaining members of Saul’s household (See 1 Samuel 20:15-16). David now intended to keep that promise. Jonathan had a son, Mephibosheth, who was crippled in both feet. When Mephibosheth bowed before the king, David said to him: “Don’t be afraid, for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.”
Mephibosheth must have felt the greatest relief at that moment. Expecting a command for a swordsman to behead him, he instead heard the unbelievable words of acceptance from the King. Upon hearing David’s gesture of grace, Mephibosheth bowed down and said: “What is your servant that you take an interest in a dead dog like me?” With his self-shaming, Mephibosheth reveals his low sense of worth and his astonishment at the grace being shown him. But David—a king—in one magnificent gesture of kindness reached out to him and gave him an exalted position by inviting him to eat as his own table, just like one of the king’s own sons (2 Samuel 9:7—13).
As we focus on kindness today, how might one understand kindness? Many people often confuse ‘kindness’ with ‘nice’, but the two can actually have very different meanings and understandings. We know that because when Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit, he does not include niceness, but kindness. The root word from which we have our modern-day English word ‘nice’ has had several meanings attributed to it over time. Originally, ‘nice’ did not relate to things or experiences, but people, and for a person to be ‘nice’ actually meant that they were ‘ignorant’! Today we understand the word nice to typically mean something or someone pleasant to be around. Niceness is often expressed through experiences, words or gestures, and a cheerful, charming personality, and it is used quite casually—“have a nice day” is the greeting from the checkout operator. “Nice one!” is a general term of affirmation from team mates or work colleagues.
Sometimes, though, people can use niceness to get something in return. For example, when we want people to show us approval or agree with us, we are nice to them. Or we might show nice actions because it is expected in certain situations—a child playing nicely with the other children because that is what their parents instructing them to do. From a young age we use niceness to get something desirable ourselves—a special treat or extra pocket money if we are nice to our parents, an early minute if we are nice to the teacher, joining in the game if we are nice to the children around us. It can often be that all people at different times use niceness for self-benefit—affirmation, agreement, popularity, and/or desirable things in return.
In contrast, kindness is more about self-giving to others. ‘Kind’ is from the word ‘kin’. At the deepest level, all of humanity share the same kinship, having been created in God’s image. For this reason, we are to be kind to our kin; to treat all people with genuine care, because all people are special and matter to God. Jesus himself taught this when he was asked which of all the commandments is the most important. He answered: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31).
When a person is kind, they are charitable, helpful, and eager to assist other people by putting other people’s needs before their own. This is a much deeper level than being ‘nice’. John’s words from 1 John 3:18 come to mind: “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” For example, telling someone a hard truth they don’t want to hear can be the kind thing to do (because it will be better for them in the long term to be aware of their own hurtful behaviours and attitudes), but it is often not a nice thing to do (because it will cause them pain in the short term). Or a person who is nice to an elderly lady on the bus might show her courtesy with a smile and polite ‘good morning’…whereas a person who is kind to her would stand up for the lady and offer her their own seat, without expectation of being rewarded.
Throughout the New Testament, Paul writes to encourage the congregations not to be nice, but to demonstrate kindness. Paul said in Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.”
In Colossians 3:12-14 we hear: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
From this we can see what kindness looks like, from every word that follows: humility, gentleness, patience, bearing with one another, forgiving others. Together, these virtues paint a picture of kindness.
We only know what true kindness is in relation to God. It is only because kindness is something worked in us by God, as a fruit of the Spirit, that we can have any hope of being truly kind. For, as Paul said in Ephesians 2, we “were dead in our transgressions and sins…gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:3-7).
In Christ, God has first shown his kindness to us. Paul said In Titus 3:4-7: But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Saviour, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.”
Why has the king of heaven done this? Is it because we have been nice to God? Is it because of our pleasantness? Our likable personality? Our compelling charm? It is not because of niceness, but kindness…God’s own kindness to us in Christ Jesus. The account of King David and Mephibosheth is an extraordinary example of kindness to another. When David asked, “Is there anyone left of Saul’s family I can show the kindness of God to?” this is a picture of God’s own kindness to us, beggars who are helpless to help ourselves, crippled by sin, fleeing death but never able to escape it. We are like Mephibosheth and King David is like our heavenly King, who promises us his grace, favour and mercy, honouring us at his own table, promising that we will have our own place to eat there forever. It is a demonstration of undeserved, unearned, and unrepayable love.
Kindness is not easy or cheap. We have been shown the most amazing and costly act of kindness that ever has existed. Like Mephibosheth, we too deserve death, but the King blesses us and invites us to his table. God has saved us through his Son, not because of our works, but because of his mercy. He has, “Saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Saviour, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.”
This is true and perfect kindness—kindness that we have received from God himself because of Christ and through Christ who offered himself for us. This language in Titus—of washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit—is the language of baptism. That’s where we can be sure the Spirit has gone to work in us, growing the fruit of the Spirit in us. May our Heavenly Father continue to send the Holy Spirit through Jesus in us as we hear his word and may he give us clear sight to distinguish between what is nice and what is kind. May he continue to grow in us the fruit of kindness as we listen to him speaking to us through the scriptures, and as we take our place he has set for us at his table. It is through these means we receive his power at work, that we may abound in the good fruit of being kind to one another and our neighbours in the world, just as God has first been kind to us. Amen.
